Thursday, October 06, 2005

Ha, I walked around today with a big ol' hole in my pants.

Earlier, with my art show freshly on the wall at the local coffee shop and people perusing calmly and absentmindedly, I sat with my crunch cake doughnut and americano and observed their response. No one wrote any comments in my book. No one had ordered any prints yet. No one had exclaimed, "Eureka, I've discovered the next Picasso and must buy every last one of these originals!"

I, of course, immediately jumped to the conclusion that I must have reached my peak as an artist last year, and am now spiraling downward on the swirling waters of the toilet that handles soon-to-be has-beens.

Naturally, when it's raining, or if it's October, or if George looks at me the wrong way, or if my fortune cookie reads like a bad omen, I will be the first to succumb to self-pity and doubt.

Something I've noticed about ego--once you get used to having it stroked regularly, you always want more. It won't matter how many people think I'm an awesome rock star, I'll never feel like it's enough. After doughnuts, I spent three whole hours moping at my loss of favor in the public eye.

Then, I got a couple of emails and a card to once again remind me of how stinkin' awesome I really am. I'm a pillar in the music community! I could be a Lipizer competition winner! I'm a multitalented, deep-thinking, spiritually upright, humorous chick! Yeah, I'm a freakin' genious!

Then, I discovered I taught all my lessons today with a huge hole in the backside of my pants.

We really musn't take oursleves too seriously, I think.

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