Wednesday, October 19, 2005

You could pick just about anyone. Okay, not just anyone. Someone with a particular interest in coffee, depth of thought, comfortable conversation, or just plain "gets it." If you're lucky in love like me, you'll get it all in one package.

But it could have been someone else. Right? Every once in a while, I question the should-have-beens and the might-have-beens, just like everyone else who has ever come down to that decision making point and decided to go ahead with it. The circumstances came down to George, and we decided to go the journey together until one of us dies or kills the other. I think that's what we said in the vows...

But why marriage? And why to him? Why do people make such a commitment when there are so many options out there? How do you know if you got the best pick? How could you ever know another person's soul well enough to your rope own to it and see if it takes off or sinks like a rock? It's really quite a scary concept, actually. I've seen way too many distressed couples to take the decision lightly. I knew very well, when I stood before Mom and Dad and God Himself and said those words, the risks that accompanied that decision.

It came about this way. We were going about our favorite things that we always do, and it felt as though we had always done them together, and didn't mind at all if we could be doing them on and on, just like that. And now, we have that agreement that guarantees it for life. He's not backing out. I'm not backing out. We're happily stuck.

Hollywood makes all the stink about hot new romances, sizzling young movie stars colliding in the universe as though destiny or an incredible twist of fate brought them together. I still maintain that it could be just about anyone, and that the meeting is nothing special, and the fact is, you choose whoever happens to be around and thinks the same about it. The miracle lies in the workings that keep it together. It is an absolutely amazing thing when people keep liking each other even after they've come out and shown each other what they're really about, dirty fingernails and all. I tried to pick someone who would. I try to be someone who would.

It's an altogether secure state of existence. I have here on earth someone who is not to reject me even if I take twenty minutes to get out the door or stay up until two making horrible sounds on the violin. George now has someone who will keep liking him, even if he puts dead waterfowl in the freezer or smells like fish sometimes. He'll keep cooking me his Italian specialties, and I'll keep knitting him scarves and hats. We've gone along like this for 1,830 days now as unconditional partners, getting up every morning on the same side of the bed and tackling the day together. Yes, it's a bit like a three-legged race at times, but I still argue that three legs are more stable than two, or even four.

I ask myself from time to time what exactly it is that keeps me steadfast, when I can be so fickle in other areas. I think it is this: at five years, crawling into bed and curling up against the same person actually feels quite different than it does at one year, or two months.

Love, to me, should be more than the 90-minute movie romance package. That whole concept is akin to a bouquet of roses--aesthetic and nice-smelling, but already dying in the vase. I wanted to see what it would be like to grow an oak tree instead. If tended regularly, its roots will flourish, and as long as our interests remain undivided, I'm going to find myself swinging high from its branches some day. I can't wait.


Blogger CamoBunny said...

iiiii know whoooooo you're thiiiinking abouuuut...!

dang these things comes back atcha with a vengence.
bndpnwm, really skinny.

8:12 PM  

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